In our household, we have tested few arrangements before finding a routine that worked for the whole family and we are prepared to adapt again if necessary. The kids are particularly stressed, having lost their routines and social life from one day to the other. They miss their friends, they don’t know when they’ll meet grandparents again, and mom and dad are more stressed than usual. Unfortunately when children are stressed they are not on their best behaviour and that adds up to the list of triggers for us. I know. Deep breaths and loads of empathy, my friend.

Beside listing fun activities to keep the little ones active and engaged, I have rounded up some resources for you to help them face these challenges times. If this is a lot to process for us adults, imagine how massive it is for children. One day E (almost 5) confessed he was afraid the virus might jump out of nowhere and bite him. We have explained them that old people are most vulnerable and R immediately worried for her grandparents. U has been staying with us for over a month (a story for another post) but she’ll soon go back to her living facility and worries when she’ll see us again. It’s a lot to take in and we are their compass, their light in the darkness.

The World Health Organization has put together a series of tips in several languages for parents, including how to manage challenging behaviours and reduce children’s stress. They are a set of great tips gathered from top experts, I wholeheartedly recommend to check them out (and send them to friends!).

Kids are naturally curious and there’s nothing better than fighting uncertainty and anxiety with facts. Surely knowledge needs to be packaged in an age-appropriate way. I always find books a great way to convey messages to my children. Axel Scheffler, the artist who illustrated The Gruffalò, has published a free ebook to help parents explain the current crisis to their children. The book was so successful that it was quickly translated in over 17 languages (here in Italian).
If your child speaks English, you might enjoy the #CaringForEachOther initiative by Sesame Street: there is plenty of ideas and resources to support families during this crisis.
The School of Life has put together a series of free activities for children. This period can be an opportunity to explore and learn.

Mindfulness is another great tool to help children. I have been awful with my own meditation routine in the past months, but I know it works and it’s a fantastic way to stay grounded when anxiety tries to take the best of you. Luckily some kind souls have adapted mindfulness techniques for children. These are books I have read and I warmly recommend. You won’t need to read them whole, just pick some exercises and try them out:
Mindfulness for children by Uz Afzal;
Calm – mindfulness for kids by Wynne Kinder;
Yoga for kids by Susannah Hoffman (I recommend this one for kids who are more lively and physical).

Last but not least: regulate your own stress. Children have the finest sensors on their carers’ emotions. If you are travelling on negative frequencies, your kids will pick them up. Conversely, if you stay grounded, you help them do the same. Self-care is the word right now. Carve your own spaces, concede to activities that bring you joy, and pamper yourself.

These are stressful times, but challenges are always opportunities to grow. Stay safe and #stayathome.

The post #COVID19 Parenting Resources Roundup appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

Keep a schedule

My husband and I are both juggling remote work. We sit down every few days and split the hours, so that we get at least few hours of full focus every day. On top of that, I determine the kids’ activity schedule the previous night. Similarly, our weekly menu is decided ahead and printed out (also helps reduce shopping trips). I plan in the quiet of the evening so that I don’t have to worry while I execute. Don’t forget to include time for your self-care during the day!

Crafts

First of all, head over to this old post where I list few easy crafts for which you won’t need special materials. Facebook is my best source of ideas (not a Pinterest mom). I warmly recommend TheDadLab group for an infinite string of inspiration. Fellow expat mom Katy shared these cool DIYs, many suitable for smaller children. Here are some ideas that I have tested or plan to:

The website Pencils and Plums offers plenty of free-to-download colouring pages and activities, check it out.

Coronavirus indoors treasure hunt

I am quite proud of this creation of mine. Some nights I hide coronavirus drawings all around the house and mark their location on a map. If the kids find them all the following day, they win a prize. I have also done a version where I write letters behind some of the drawings and the complete message gives away the location of the prize.

How to set it up:
– print the coronavirus sheet, cut the drawings
– draw a map of your house
– hide the virus drawings in various locations and mark them on a map
Pro tip: laminate at least the map so that you can use a whiteboard pen to mark the locations and use it the map more than once.
An alternative version: organise a simple treasure hunt by giving them a list (written or drawn) of objects to find and photograph to win a small prize. Can be done both indoors and outdoors.

Educational play

I am not a fan of screen time, but there are some really cool educational digital resources. Children can experiment with creating music with Chrome Music Lab (check out the music maker!).

“Lego has an app where you can download instructions to any set. If you have enough blocks you can build anything.”

Dagmar, expat mom in Finland

Fellow mom Karen reminded me about Scratch, a MIT tool to teach kids aged 8 to 16 to code. For younger children (5-7 years) head over ScratchJr.

Reading (and audiobooks)

Audible has some free titles for children in several languages. You can also look up podcasts of fairytales (one for Italian speakers) or fairytales on Youtube. If your child speaks Finnish, the app Lukulumo offers free audiobooks during the lockdown (username lukuulumokoti, password 987654321). Don’t forget our local e-library has also several reads and audiobooks available in several languages.

Keep it moving

If you are not in total lockdown, don’t miss to go for a walk every day. We have made a ritual of going outdoors at least 20 minutes after lunch. Another trick, if you have the space and your kids can be unsupervised: I give them a timer and encourage them to bike around the yard for 20 minutes to win a candy. 20 minutes of bliss for you! For Finnish-speaking children, Herotreeni offers a 3 week daily exercise programme for only 12 euros (I’ve seen a demo, superfun)! You want the same in English? No problem: MoovKids offers daily online classes (thanks Giedre for the heads-up).

“There are couple of links to the free lessons from popular gyms in Finland, I found them really useful. For example, Fressi has live streaming with agenda for the day, you can just join it, also Elixia has online courses that doesn’t require membership.

Tulasi, expat mom in Finland

Virtual social life

Children miss their friends. Schedule regular video calls for them to talk with their friends. For multilingual children, this is also a chance to preserve the languages not spoken at home. You can also teach games compatible with play through a screen, for example charades, hangman, or 20 questions.

Housework

Don’t forget small kids see chores like play. During these peculiar times, I am asking my kids to help regularly: emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry, dusting… Results do not have to be perfect, but they can indeed help and these activities keep them busy (and they learn useful skills). Have them help in the kitchen as well, they’ll love it.

Household chores and engaging in as many parents household activities as possible. 

Lisa, expat mom in Finland

Several parents recommended gardening as an option. You can start some seeds also on the windowsill.

Free play

Dear parents, do not forget your own mental health and to allow kids to get bored. Boredom is the mother of creativity, after all. Let’s not go nuts to keep the kids entertained all the time. Alternate activities with free play if age allows. You are doing great!

The post Are You Not Entertained? – Ideas for Quarantined Parents #COVID appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

I was cursed to get a picture of what was coming days ahead from reading Italian newspapers as well as social media. There I had a taste of the raw experience of the epidemics, as well as read several experts’ opinions. My concern grew by the day, especially while witnessing the low reactivity of the Finnish government.

I don’t think people are worrying enough, not in Finland, not in other countries where things are just starting to unfold. To the day I still hear of parents debating whether to send their kids to social activities or daycare because “they are bored” or they cannot stand having them at home. [1] Unfortunately the initial global communications sounded as “it’s barely a flu” and shortly later “only the elderly or patients with health conditions are affected”. Most people – including myself – recorded those information and then refused to refresh them.

The main thing you need to understand about coronavirus is that it is a novel sickness: nothing is sure and information change all the time. You need to stay updated.

China, Italy, and France have released data suggesting that young people often require intensive care. In addition, coronavirus is damn fast in spreading, because of a relatively long incubation period and many people not showing symptoms. You might easily catch it, not even realise you are sick, and infect many on your path. Data was released suggesting worrying figures on young children. Children are, indeed, less affected. However, 5.9% experience severe or critical illness that require hospitalisation. In particular, small children (babies and preschoolers) were the most vulnerable:

Another extremely concerning data that emerged only recently is the mortality rate. The initial comment was “only old people risk dying”. The thing is, younger people fighting between life and death last longer. They stay attached to a ventilator for weeks and while they do, they are not recorded as fatalities. In 2 weeks time from now, we might have a completely different picture of the mortality rate and its distribution by age. It will be too late then.

Without any restriction, we would easily find ourselves with thousands of people needing hospitalisation, yet resources – for example beds or ventilators – would be limited. The healthcare system doesn’t serve only coronavirus patients. On top of a pandemic, all activities must continue. Treating victims of accidents, cancer patients, performing operations, treating the sick, the list goes on. In Italy, doctors are forced to choose who dies and who lives.

The Finnish government has placed a bet on individual responsibility by not closing daycares. I beg you, if you can keep the kids home, do it. Every person counts, every missed social event counts. It’s all about minimising the likelihood of contagion and slowing the spread (here’s a simulation showing how social isolation helps). This will be a hard time for everyone and we need to shift into the mentality of making sacrifices.

I promise I will produce cheerful posts such as “10 crafts to keep you child busy during a pandemic” or “how not to murder your kids on day 15 of a quarantine” but right now I want to convey clearly how bad things can get. While my family wasn’t directly hit (yet), friends of friends are dying. It hits close. Few days ago, Bergamo, Italy, recorded that every 30 minutes someone was buried. Families have been decimated, including young parents dying.

“People are dying like dogs – nameless, a number among many” – says Roberta, her father died “My father wasn’t old and he wasn’t ill before”. She says the only noise she hears all day long is ambulance sirens. She leaves 10 or so messages of condolences daily on Facebook walls.

In Italy, people are forbidden from leaving home. In some areas, grocery shopping means queuing for hours because the store lets in only few people at a time. The police is enforcing the quarantine. Things can get much worse if we don’t wake up soon. Your individual choices now matter the most.

Now it’s really the time to look out for each other and be aware of how our choices affect our community. We’ll get through this. Stay healthy, #stayathome.

[1] Edited out. As a fellow mom kindly flagged, this phrasing sounded judgemental. We are all stressed and scared (awful combination!) and the last thing I want to do is to add conflict or pressure. I apologise for the bad choice of words. We are all doing the best we can, let’s keep on lifting each other <3.

The post Coronavirus in Finland: Why Your Individual Choices Matter #stayathome appeared first on The Elephant Mum.