Here in Finland, children speaking a secondary language can access free afternoon classes to learn it (one hour a week I believe). However, these classes are organised far from where we live and I heard many parents complaining of their low quality. Part of the issue is that the school groups together children with different language levels. This arrangement didn’t sound effective and worthwhile to me, so I have decided to go solo, at least for now. Since I know that many families around the world struggle with the same challenges, I am sharing what worked for us.

Set goals

It is important to set overall language goals for your children as well as progressive targets. Personally this year I wanted for R to learn to read fluently as well as assimilate few grammar rules. What level of fluency and skill do you want your child to reach? What can you feasibly achieve in few months? Write down a timeline. We used a book with linear structure and chapters, so I leveraged that to set a roadmap for the year. I then complemented the plan with self-made exercise sheets and other books.

Stick to a schedule

Don’t be casual about carving time for this. Schedule a regular time on the calendar and stick to it as much as possible. If it turns out not to be a good time (i.e. the child is too tired or other commitments often jump the line), change it but be consistent. Holidays or social distancing are opportunities to add extra lessons.
Leave some margin in your plan, because a year is a long time and the child’s motivation and commitment might fluctuate.

Motivate with small rewards

Sticker sheets are the way. R gets to apply a sticker a the end of each lesson. For this, it’s important to define what one lesson is: is it a completed chapter? A series of exercises? Is it bound by time?
Every five sticker she can access a prize and the prize size increases over time. Rewards don’t have to be expensive: small toys, candies, a comic book (you see what I’m doing there), a colouring book.

Encourage but don’t force it

Let’s face it, for the child this is extra work. Motivating and encouraging is legit, but understand where the line is. If the child identifies this as a chore, it will be hard to recover. No one likes to be forced to learn! During the year we took breaks as I saw R’s commitment teeter. We started these classes last summer and for instance she was extra tired and stressed when she started preschool. I allowed her to adapt to the new changes and it paid off.

Make it fun

It is not feasible to sit a young child school-style for a hour or so. I alternated formal exercises with videos -Youtube is full of songs and videos on Italian grammar, I found – and small learning games. Examples of games were:
the hangman game;
whenever we studied a chapter on a letter, we had to mime in turns things starting with that letter for the other to guess;
in turns we would name a letter and the other had to find something in the room starting with it as fast as possible.
This motivated R to do her exercises, as she was striving to complete to play with me.
Moreover, this can be fun for parents too! Beside the playing bit, I enjoyed creating personal exercise sheets to complement the books we used.

I hope this is useful to other multilingual families. Do you have more tips or resources to share? Please add them to the comments for my and my readers’ benefit. If this post was interesting or useful, I’d love to hear your feedback as well. Happy learning!

Recommended posts:
Book review of “Be Bilingual”.
Interview to sociologist Soile Pietikäinen on bilingualism in families: part I and part II.

Risorse per genitori italiani

Dato tutto il tempo che ho speso nel ricercare e creare risorse, sono più che felice di condividerle con i miei colleghi genitori.
Un sito fa-vo-lo-so è Fantavolando. Ha una marea di risorse e schede per varie età.
I libri possono essere ordinati da Amazon.it. Quelli che abbiamo utilizzato per il primo anno sono stati:
Il mio primo sillabario di Manuela Duca
Imparo le lettere con il libro lavagna. Questo è carino per imparare la grafia perché si può cancellare e riscrivere ad infinitum.
Imparo a scrivere in stampatello maiuscolo e minuscolo. Esercizi da pre-grafia fino a brevi frasi.
Ho anche creato alcune schede di esercizi e grammatica che sono felice di condividere: scaricale da qui.
Se avete altre risorse o idee, per favore condividetele con me. E fatemi sapere se questi consigli vi sono utili, è sempre bello avere del feedback!

Featured image by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash.

The post Bilingual Kids – Our Experience Teaching a Second Language appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

Keep a schedule

My husband and I are both juggling remote work. We sit down every few days and split the hours, so that we get at least few hours of full focus every day. On top of that, I determine the kids’ activity schedule the previous night. Similarly, our weekly menu is decided ahead and printed out (also helps reduce shopping trips). I plan in the quiet of the evening so that I don’t have to worry while I execute. Don’t forget to include time for your self-care during the day!

Crafts

First of all, head over to this old post where I list few easy crafts for which you won’t need special materials. Facebook is my best source of ideas (not a Pinterest mom). I warmly recommend TheDadLab group for an infinite string of inspiration. Fellow expat mom Katy shared these cool DIYs, many suitable for smaller children. Here are some ideas that I have tested or plan to:

The website Pencils and Plums offers plenty of free-to-download colouring pages and activities, check it out.

Coronavirus indoors treasure hunt

I am quite proud of this creation of mine. Some nights I hide coronavirus drawings all around the house and mark their location on a map. If the kids find them all the following day, they win a prize. I have also done a version where I write letters behind some of the drawings and the complete message gives away the location of the prize.

How to set it up:
– print the coronavirus sheet, cut the drawings
– draw a map of your house
– hide the virus drawings in various locations and mark them on a map
Pro tip: laminate at least the map so that you can use a whiteboard pen to mark the locations and use it the map more than once.
An alternative version: organise a simple treasure hunt by giving them a list (written or drawn) of objects to find and photograph to win a small prize. Can be done both indoors and outdoors.

Educational play

I am not a fan of screen time, but there are some really cool educational digital resources. Children can experiment with creating music with Chrome Music Lab (check out the music maker!).

“Lego has an app where you can download instructions to any set. If you have enough blocks you can build anything.”

Dagmar, expat mom in Finland

Fellow mom Karen reminded me about Scratch, a MIT tool to teach kids aged 8 to 16 to code. For younger children (5-7 years) head over ScratchJr.

Reading (and audiobooks)

Audible has some free titles for children in several languages. You can also look up podcasts of fairytales (one for Italian speakers) or fairytales on Youtube. If your child speaks Finnish, the app Lukulumo offers free audiobooks during the lockdown (username lukuulumokoti, password 987654321). Don’t forget our local e-library has also several reads and audiobooks available in several languages.

Keep it moving

If you are not in total lockdown, don’t miss to go for a walk every day. We have made a ritual of going outdoors at least 20 minutes after lunch. Another trick, if you have the space and your kids can be unsupervised: I give them a timer and encourage them to bike around the yard for 20 minutes to win a candy. 20 minutes of bliss for you! For Finnish-speaking children, Herotreeni offers a 3 week daily exercise programme for only 12 euros (I’ve seen a demo, superfun)! You want the same in English? No problem: MoovKids offers daily online classes (thanks Giedre for the heads-up).

“There are couple of links to the free lessons from popular gyms in Finland, I found them really useful. For example, Fressi has live streaming with agenda for the day, you can just join it, also Elixia has online courses that doesn’t require membership.

Tulasi, expat mom in Finland

Virtual social life

Children miss their friends. Schedule regular video calls for them to talk with their friends. For multilingual children, this is also a chance to preserve the languages not spoken at home. You can also teach games compatible with play through a screen, for example charades, hangman, or 20 questions.

Housework

Don’t forget small kids see chores like play. During these peculiar times, I am asking my kids to help regularly: emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry, dusting… Results do not have to be perfect, but they can indeed help and these activities keep them busy (and they learn useful skills). Have them help in the kitchen as well, they’ll love it.

Household chores and engaging in as many parents household activities as possible. 

Lisa, expat mom in Finland

Several parents recommended gardening as an option. You can start some seeds also on the windowsill.

Free play

Dear parents, do not forget your own mental health and to allow kids to get bored. Boredom is the mother of creativity, after all. Let’s not go nuts to keep the kids entertained all the time. Alternate activities with free play if age allows. You are doing great!

The post Are You Not Entertained? – Ideas for Quarantined Parents #COVID appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

Expectations around parents have grown tenfold since the previous generation. There’s way more research on child development, attachment, and more, and all these information are ready available on the internet. They populate our social media feed, our friends’ online and IRL conversations, and become impossible to ignore. The pressure creates a climate where everyone is forced on a guilt trip.

We end up feeling we have to stay up to date. Are we feeding our kids right? Are we spending enough time with them? Are we stimulating them intellectually? Do they spend enough time outdoors? Are we yelling too much? Are we fostering their emotional development? The list is endless. This is recipe for mental breakdown.

The answer is: balance. And factoring in your own well-being into the equation. I hate play pretend (ironic, given it was my favorite as a child) and I declared to my kids that I won’t play that. Ask daddy. I’m open to do other things, like reading, playing boardgames, go outside.. whatever. But if they want to play pretend, I’m not their gal.

Over the years I cut *regular* pockets of self-care for myself. I used to see it as time stolen from my family, but turns out it serves them in the end. First of all, it is a powerful example for my children about the importance of loving and caring for oneself. I do not want them to have my same attitude of self-flagellation. Children learn from what parents do, not what parents say. Walk the talk.

In addition, taking care of my well-being allows me to not develop any resentment and to truly enjoy and cherish the time I spend with my children.

When I say self-care I don’t mean only going to the gym or out with friends regularly. I include declaring I need half hour rest and that they need to play on their own, refusing to play a game that I hate, setting boundaries. I meet my kids’ needs 99% of my time, all my short-term and long-term life choices revolve around them… I refuse to feel guilt for the tiny portion I claim for myself.

Beside the rant on motherhood not being spelled martyrdom, there’s boredom. My generation of on-demand everything and instant gratification is terrified of it. However, boredom is a precious resource for children. It’s the space where their imagination and creativity can flourish. If you keep your children entertained at all hours, you’re doing them a disservice.

Although we do not want to surrender to it, the truth is that there’s no recipe for parenting. Having this load of information and worldwide support networks at the tip of our fingers is overwhelming but also empowering.

The post Bored Child, Sane Parent appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

• Love your kid unconditionally.  It is important that you let your kids know that they are loved even when they fail or make bad choices.  Remember that this is the foundation of upbringing confident kids.  When they know that they are loved and accepted no matter what, they feel that they can do anything they set their mind to because they will always have your support.

• Be kind to yourself.  Everything you do is right in the eyes of a child.  Hence, you need to show your kids that you love yourself.  Be a model advocating self-love, acceptance, and positivity so that your kids will learn to emulate this healthy habit.

• Give credit where credit is due.  Kids give high regards to their caregiver’s thoughts and opinions.  Therefore, it is of utmost importance that you shower them with praises and positive feedback as this is how they measure their worth.  However, you need to be careful in giving praises. For instance, if a child lacks talent at something or if he fails, commend the effort he exerted and dwell too much on the result.  Tell him that some things need more time, effort, and practice, and that it’s okay to not do everything perfectly.  The important thing is that he has given his best shot.  Remember that confidence comes from the process of trying, failing, and trying again.

• Assign house chores.  Kids feel powerful when they are given the chance to show their capabilities.  They will feel that they are needed and that their contribution is deeply valued at home even when they are still toddlers.  You can ask small things to do.  This includes simple tasks such as setting the table or putting dirty clothes in the basket.   

• Teach the importance of doing and trying again.  Failures, pain, setbacks, and criticism are inevitable in life.  No one succeeds at everything all the time so teach your child to not dwell on mistakes and failures. Use those disappointments as a golden opportunity to teach your child to not give up.  But don’t forget to validate their feelings as this will teach your child that failures are okay but can be managed.  Discuss what your child can do to succeed next time.  When he succeeds later on, he will surely be proud of his achievement.

• Take a step back.  Confident kids are eager to try out something new without any fear or reservations.  Let your child do things on his own but watch from the sidelines.  For instance, you can show him how to make his sandwich and let him try it later on without interfering.  Make sure that you set up a safe situation where he can practice without any intervention.  Let him explore so he can discover new things and learn that he can handle various situations on his own.

• Support your child’s interest.  When you or your child discover something that he excels in, hone that talent or skill.  It might not be something that you like but it is important that you respect and encourage him to pursue it. For instance, if your son shows interest in playing the guitar, you can teach him if you know how.  Or better yet, ask him if he is wants to take classes.  But make sure to set rules so that this does not interfere with his school work. The important thing in this tip is that he sticks to what he loves so that he is more proud of his accomplishment later on when he sees through it.

•  Let your kid make age-appropriate decisions.  Doing so empowers them while helping them think of the consequences later.  For instance, you can ask them what they want to wear.  If you are not that comfortable with letting them take the reigns, you can let them choose between two options that are okay with you.  Example, you can ask him “do you want to wear this red shirt or this blue shirt”. 

Fostering positive self-esteem in kids in an early age is totally doable.  You will need to love yourself and your child unconditionally, give him praises, trust that he can do what he intends to do, and take an active interest in his passion.  Over time, your child will learn how to value himself as you do.

About the author

Elkyra Park is a first-time mom who can no longer count how many baby products she has reviewed for her sanity and her son’s sake.  She discusses about the realities of parenthood and how to gracefully cope with the struggles over at Easy Parenting Hacks.

Featured photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels

The post How To Foster Self-Esteem in Kids in an Early Age – guest post by Elkyra Park appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

#1. Bonding

Reading is quality time you spend with your children. It’s about cutting a quiet moment out of a busy day, sitting down, and focusing on interacting with them. For children, attention equals love. Reading together is a fantastic opportunity for connection. My son is a lively boy, yet he is always willing to sit down whenever I offer to read to him. It is a special moment we shared.

#2. Enrich language(s)

No matter if you are a monolingual or a multilingual family, reading is a phenomenal tool to expand your child’s vocabulary. Beside the “classic” illustrated books of words, I make a point of picking books that display as many different situations and contexts as possible: family, school, play, fantasy worlds, animals, and so on. Books introduce children to terms that rarely belong to spoken language. I am very proud of how rich our children’s vocabulary is, and I guarantee that most of the credit goes to all the hours we spent reading together.

#3. Cultivate culture(s)

Children can learn plenty about other cultures from reading and watching illustrations. We have built a good collection of books about India, the minority culture in our family. We regularly read about traditions, festivals, deities, stories, and more. Books can be windows into other countries or cultures.

#4. Teach values

I regularly mine libraries and online stores to find children’s reads that teach our family’s set of values, such as kindness, compassion, diversity, respect for others. I have used books to teach my children how to say no, to respect others’ boundaries, and much more. Personally we are not believers, but books can be a way to introduce the child to the family’s religion(s). I have proof that this works, because my children often comment real life’s situations referring to the stories we read.

#5. Support development milestones

Tales can be a parent’s best friend during challenging times like… potty training. I have used books to help my children give up the pacifier, toilet train, sleep better, calm fears, start daycare, start school… I mean, we ourselves often turn to self-help books to improve our lives, relationships, businesses, so why can’t it be the same for kids?

#6. Educate

I use books to introduce my children to cool subjects like robotics, space, how the human body works. Beside “curricular subjects”, stories have supported also the emotional development of my children (read my top 10 children’s books to explore feelings). Whether you teach life skills or academic knowledge, your children have a lot to gain from books.

Reading is a cornerstone of our family life and a huge superpower for parents. I hope I have convinced you to pick up reading to children as a habit. I recommend you include it in your routine. Choose a moment of the day when you can commit to do it daily, like bedtime or during morning commute. I promise, you will not go back.

The post 6 Reasons Why Reading to Children is a Parent’s Superpower appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

Having being raised with the “Hand of Saruman” constantly printed on my bottom, I used to believe spanking children is a natural part of the parenting experience. Like in a reward system, if you do something nasty you get spanked as a consequence. Same as grounding. I had my first child in Finland, where corporal punishment is illegal. Like, social-services-coming-to-your-house illegal. While at first glance it felt like an overkill, it forced me to reflect on spanking, whether it’s a right or even effective education method.

The child’s feelings

I have a clear childhood memory of how humiliating being spanked felt. Being hit reminded me of how vulnerable and defenceless I was as a little child. When my mother would cry “This is the end of discussion”, I felt disappointed and angry, but when she hit me I felt humiliated. When I was forced to reflect on the matter, I decided I didn’t want my children to feel like that at my own hand.
As an adult, I am aware of how being spanked negatively affected my relationship with my parents. It alimented an anger in me I still deal with as an adult.

Lead by example

We spend years teaching our kids they should not hit their siblings or friends… and then we do it? Seriously, think about it. Why should a parent be above the law? When you spank a child, you are teaching her the following: physical strength is what determines who wins an argument; there are some (unclear) conditions under which violence is okay; you are weak and I am strong.

I often say how children are our chance to live a second chance. It’s a painful process to face your own flaws, weaknesses, even fears, to become the best version of yourself. When you have the responsibility of raising another human being, you need to lead by example. Children are master mimics: they learn language by listening to their parents speaking, they learn empathy by tirelessly interacting with them, and they learn behaviour by imitating how their parents face the world. I know, it sucks! I mean, you are finally an adult and could virtually live a life of unhealthy snacks and freedom, and instead… you are forced to become responsible. I don’t remember signing to these terms.

It does not serve anyone

There are two reasons why parents spank: as a consequence or out of mere anger. It’s not effective in either case. The child may comply out of fear, not respect of the parental authority. Let me comment as someone who was raised with this method, it will not reinforce the relationship with your child. Shaming creates silent anger, which will come out in some unpleasant form as soon as the child feels safe enough to manifest it (for instance in teenage years when they are physically stronger or more independent). Does it help your own anger? Not really. It gives a trembling sense of control, but likely comes with an extra dosage of shame for having attacked someone more vulnerable. Frustration is your daily bread as a parent, but you need to find healthier ways to deal with it.

How to break the cycle

I sometime hear “My parents spanked me and I grew up fine”. “We always did it this way” is never a sound argument, but more of a tactic to avoid discussion altogether. However you decide to raise your kids, I think it’s worth stopping for a second and reflect on your motivations and goals. Start from why would you spank your child. Would it fit well in the values you are teaching her? Is it effective?
If you have been raised with this method or are using it, and want to break the cycle, be compassionate towards yourself. People tend to automatically go into the same parenting mode as they were raised. Especially if you had decent or good parents overall, it may be hard at unconscious level to criticise their methods (even more if they are physically close and asking why you are such a weak parent that you never spank your child). Remind yourself your parenting experience has nothing to do with your childhood one. You and only you choose the parent you want to be. If you slip into the habit, make sure to apologise to your children: we are not teaching them to be perfect, we are teaching them to be good human beings.

I would love to hear your comments on this one. Is spanking acceptable where you live? Do you feel comfortable with it? What tools do you use to teach consequences to children?

(be civil in your comment, we are here to discuss, not judge)

The post Why I Believe Spanking Kids Is Wrong appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

Kiasma is the major contemporary art museum in Helsinki and it’s conveniently situated adjacent to the central railway station. Kiasma is part of the Museum Card network and children always enter for free. Moreover, as it’s customary for many museums in Helsinki, entrance is free for everyone on the first Friday of every month.

Visiting museums with small children is always a challenge, but Kiasma organises once a year few weeks of hands-on art workshops targeting every age group: babies, toddlers, and older kids. The goals of the workshops are to facilitate parents to spend quality time with their kids, allowing parents to visit the exhibition while conceding something to the little ones, and introducing the rule-free world of art to children of all ages.

Our experience

My children (aged 3 and 5) and I visited the toddler’s drop-in workshop on a snowy Thursday morning. We entered the museum, undressed from our winter gear and left it to the free-of-charge wardrobe service (a pleasant surprise, as opposed to having to drag winter jackets around). The workshop was set on the last floor, in a small room. There were several activities to choose from, definitely enough to spend half a day there. As soon as we got in, we encountered a table full of mysterious boxes.

Exceeding my expectations, my kids spent a good half hour playing with them. Boxes contained a variety of sensory and visual surprises. E and R were in a frenzy to open all of them, while later they played some version of hide-and-seek where one would hide a specific box and the other needed to find it.

Close to it, two small ball pits with coloured lights invited for a “dry bath” in colours. In the corner, we found a dark box filled with mirrors and sensory objects. Children were allowed to crawl in and use flashlights, or explore using touch. E especially liked being able to experiment with light. I noticed how careful tools had been chosen, to grant safety (no small or sharp objects) and easy use for the little ones (flashlights had soft buttons, for example). My expat mom’s special eye also caught that all activities are described in Finnish, Swedish, and English, making them accessible to all families.

E and R spent some time also playing in the unusual “sandbox” which contained plastic plates instead of sand and coloured lights. Tuija, the workshop main planner, explained one focus was to show everyday objects in a different setting, that is the creative process of many contemporary artists. As a parent, a good chunk of my role includes giving boundaries, rules, and fitting reality into schemes and boxes to feed it to my children. I am excited at the idea that art, even at this simple level, can allow them to explore the free world of imagination and creativity.

After the “dry activities”, it was time to mess around with water colours. The workshop makes available apron of all sizes, including adults’. An interesting surprise were the water painting boards, originally meant for mindful creative activities. You only need water to paint and the board clears by itself when it dries.

Finally, the moment they had been waiting for: real painting! Children were allowed to express their creativity by painting with different brushes and colours on some plastic surfaces, which was later cleaned by the workshop assistants.

Everything was protected in plastic and they had the apron, so they could safely focus on just drawing and having fun. Colours were easily washable from the skin. It was liberating for them!

The art exhibition

After having plenty of fun, we went downstairs to eat. Kiasma has a nice cafe that serves lunch on weekdays, but also some quiet spaces where it’s possible to eat a packed lunch or snack. Strollers and baby carriers are available and can be borrowed for free. The whole museum is fully wheelchair-accessible. Now that the kids were in their best mood, it was my turn to enjoy the museum. Two floors were populated with exhibitions. Even though most works were hard to explain to kids, many were visually attractive and they allowed me to enjoy most of them.

I was slightly worried we would walk into inappropriate content, but anything that was not family-friendly was separate and clearly marked (but still accessible, so don’t let the kids roam with no supervision).

The huge spaces of the building allowed my kids to explore safely. I taught R to observe paintings from different distances, that interpretation of art was always free, whatever feelings or images art would evoke in her where the right answer. After walking the whole exhibition, they insisted to visit the workshop again!

How to be informed of future family activities

Kiasma organises these workshops every year, usually around January, when the museum is less crowded. The toddlers’ workshop is planned towards the end of the week, including Saturday, to allow also working parents to take part. Information are updated on the museum’s webpage. To receive notifications of events directly to your mailbox, you can subscribe to the Kiasma klubi’s mailing list (in Finnish only). Some events are advertised on Facebook, so I invite you to like Kiasma’s page. We had plenty of fun and surely will be on the lookout for the upcoming happenings!

We were granted free access to Kiasma to visit and review the workshop. All opinions are mine and sincere. Read more about my working values here.

The post Contemporary Art and Children: Kiasma’s Workshop for Toddlers appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

The list includes 25 books and I will write five posts throughout the year with our selection of children’s books. Our family reads in Finnish and Italian language, but some of our picks are in English and I translate on the fly. Beside the link to the Helmet (our library network) archive, whenever possible I’ll include the link to the same books in other languages to make sure you can enjoy them as well. If you’ll find my recommendations valuable, let me know in the comments below.  This is the final batch of the challenge, it’s been fun!. If you wanna peek at my other recommendations, check out my previous posts: first, second, third, and fourth. Don’t miss next year’s challenge!

#21. A non-fiction book

Helmet (ENG) | ENG | FR
A book on nature was the first idea I had when I read this challenge. Yet I wouldn’t have imagined I would find such a great book. Author Matt Sewell, an expert ornithologist, has published several informative children’s volumes on animals and nature, with outstanding illustrations. Forgotten Beasts is a pleasant read also for parents and a great chance to learn more on extinct animals. One fun detail for us was discussing sizes and timelines. Even R (almost 6) cannot handle them easily, but it was fun to translate information into “this was as big as 3 cars in a row” or “this animal lived looong ago, when dinosaurs roamed the world”.

#22. The book title is just one word

Helmet (GER) | HelMet (RUS) | ITA | ENG | FR | SWE
Beware, this is an all time favorite in our household. I have read this book to my children so many times, that I can recite it by heart: Poop-di-doop! (Caccapupù in the Italian version). Despite most books in our Reading Challenge list were rented from our local library, we own this one. I discovered this book years ago during a trip to Italy, when we visited a library near my hometown and a volunteer was reading to small kids. The book is ideal for children aged 2 to 5 years old, as illustrations are colorful and simple, and written parts are very short. A lovely feature of this story is that there’s a recurrent word (“caccapupù“) that kids love to repeat throughout the reading. My kids especially love the interaction. Author Stephanie Blake wrote several other books and they are all great reads. Given her great success, few years ago, she even produced an animation series called Simon (aired in Finland during Pikku Kakkonen).

#23. A book in which I would like to be the protagonist

Helmet (ENG) | ENG
I mentioned in the previous post of this challenge how we are going through a heavy Fireman Sam phase here with E (now 3 years old). He’s gotten it so bad that sometime when he’s completing some task we can hear him singing to himself the jingle which plays during rescues. There are several books on Fireman Sam, perfect for children aged 2 to 4. We chose The Pondypandy winter rescue to stay aligned with the current weather. A nice surprise was finding that the book requires some interaction and the child to guess what will happen next. If your child is also obsessed with the TV series, this will be a nice surprise.

#24. A book published in 2018

Helmet (ENG) | ENG | ITA
This was easy since I am one of the four nerds who regularly checks the new additions of the local library. I chose Terry Fan‘s Ocean Meets Sky, a visionary story that will leave adults and children dreamy and with a warm heart. Illustrations are of another world, simply wonderful and so detailed in their imaginative nature. I wasn’t familiar with this author and I’ll definitely look up for more of his works. Amazon says this is a book for kids aged 5 to 8, but I think it’s suitable also for smaller children. It’s mostly an illustrated book, the storyline is very simple. A young child remembers his late grandfather and their shared love for the sea, and leaves on a dreamy expedition to find a special place his grandpa mentioned, where the ocean and the sky meet. One small detail I appreciated was that the protagonist was a Chinese child, which marries well my intentionality to include diversity in our family reads. This book surely would make a perfect gift.

#25. A book recommended by library personnel or a teacher

Helmet (FI) | FI | ENG | SWE
R’s teacher recommended the series of Pekka Töpöhäntä (Pelle No-Tail in the English version) and we chose the Christmas story called Pekka Töpöhäntä viettää joulua (“Pelle No-Tail celebrates Christmas”). Pekka is a lovely black cat living with his human family, who also has a secret life in the world of cats. This is Pekka’s very first Christmas. He’s surprised his human family has placed a tree in the living room and a bit scared by Santa. His cat friends will show him Christmas is a time of love and kindness to long for. Stories are for older children, I’d say age range 5 to 8. Every page has illustrations but the story is long and requires some concentrating. There’s plenty of books in the series and I’ve learned they have been translated into English too.

It was so much fun to follow this challenge! Will we continue next year? You bet we will. As a matter of fact, Helmet has recently published the new Little Helmet Reading Challenge 2019 and I have started already looking up what’s coming next. Join us in discovering new amazing children’s books!

The post The Reading Challenge 2018, part V (final) appeared first on The Elephant Mum.

Digital parenting is a new trending niche in the parents’ world. The key question is how to allow our children to take advantage of the power of technology without being victims of it? For years there has been extensive talk of limiting the screen time, but that doesn’t cover even half of the issue nowadays. It’s about exposure to contents, media, how to safely navigate the immensity of the internet, and how kids’ focus and learning abilities are affected by new devices. I am a mother to two children aged 2 and 4, and here in Finland, where I live, many children have a smartphone by school age. I’m very prompted by the topic of digital parenting and I already had to set rules and boundaries with my young children. As an individual, I started sensing something wrong about my relationship with technology years ago. I’ve now been Facebook-free for over three years and spent around six months smartphone-free last year before joining a new workplace where I could not live without. When I’ve read about the Homo Distractus project I got curious. This is a topic we are not talking about enough, especially if we put that in proportion of how much and often we utilise technology in our daily life.

E. multitasking on his laptop and his phone. Go easy on yourself, man!

Who is using who, when it comes to it? I wrote to Anastasia and we agreed she would challenge me to a digital detox mini-programme for a week. I wondered, how will this affect my work as an IT professional? How about my family time? Will it be liberating as when I gave up my smartphone? Here’s my account of the last seven days.

Day 1

Usually I spend the evening working or blogging at my laptop and interrupt my flow several times by checking social media on my phone. When I’m too tired, I turn on the TV and watch some Netflix show or Youtube videos.
Beside giving up that, I also decided to do something really special for my challenge first day. After my kids’ bedtime I went out to a pub with my brother, something I hadn’t done in ages. On my way back, I completely turned off the phone and kept it that way until morning. When I got home, my first instinct was to check my social media, but I’m glad I resisted the temptation. The world definitely went on without me checking on Instagram.

Day 2

This task was easy for me, as I disabled most notifications on my phone long ago. However, it was refreshing to disable even text notifications for a whole day! I went one step further and kept my work internal chat closed most of the times. I was the one deciding when it was time to open it and see if anyone needed my help. That helped a lot with my concentration and I could check a few things off my backlog. At home, I always keep my phone silent as I find notifications are distracting for my kids as well. A text message ping can disrupt nice playing and they are immediately dragged towards my phone.

Day 3

I felt advantaged in that, as I reflected upon these for some time already and I truly believe every one of us should take some time to consider these questions. My guiding light is that I don’t want to be used by technology, but the other way around. I fell addicted to apps or tech-related habits several times in the past, but always realised when this was the case and I have been ready to cut the root problem at once. Around three years ago I canceled my Facebook account. It took time to get used to go Facebook-free and still to the day some acquaintances forget to invite me to events when they create them there. Honestly, I don’t care. Those are happenings my presence is not strictly required for, otherwise people would remember and pick up the phone to call me. I need technology in my work, but I have some personal rules on its use during my personal time and luckily this is in line with company policy. Tech is useful, but I keep reminding myself it’s not necessary. After all, I lived about half of my life with none of the apps or devices I have now, and I was fine.

Day 4

I liked this rule and I tried it for few days. At work I’m constantly busy, so I rarely wander online. However, I observed a difference in my behaviour with my children at home. When I set precise boundaries for my leisure use of technology, I could focus my attention on them and on our plays. When I use my smartphone to relax and detach from them, they are really annoyed. They don’t want to compete with it and I can see that. I mentally set rules for when I would take my phone out to check on my social media accounts and I even tried to do that away from my kids. I observed I was much more engaged in play and time flew. I admit, as a parent I’ve used my smartphone as a “quick fix” to fight boredom or to claim some of my adult life back for an instant. However, it’s just an illusion. It may give a short pleasure, but you are back to the uncomfortable feelings in few seconds and you just annoyed your children, who are oversensitive to their parents’ attention shifts. I found it much more rewarding as an individual and more guilt-free as a parent to use my “social media time” in a regulated way. I really recommend to make this rule yours as general guideline, at least for the time you spend with your family.

Day 5

This was a nightmare for me. I am the queen of browser tabs. You know how bad it is? Generally I have three browsers working, some with multiple windows and each windows fills the maximum number of tabs and counting. Oh, then there are the terminal tabs, where I code. For my job, I need some multiple tabs open, even for working on a single task. However, 90% of my tabs are just to blame on my obsessive multitasking. Some are blog posts or articles I keep open for weeks, before accepting the harsh reality I’ll never actually read them. There’s the ever-notifying internal work chat. When I got the task from Anastasia I did the unthinkable. I dragged my cursor to the small circle on the upper left corner of the screen. It shined red before I clicked… and there, all gone. Starting from zero, here. Since then I’ve made a resolution of closing the internal chat and just opening it regularly to check if I have important messages, without allowing notifications to break my focus. Moreover, I now plan to keep a minimum number of tabs open, to allow me to focus more on one task at a time. I’m really curious to see how this will affect my work in the long run!

Day 6

Chocolate. No doubt, my reward will be chocolate. Jokes aside, as a parent I learned one bad day doesn’t make a difference. It’s important to set clear goals and be honest with yourself in assessing results. I found many of this week’s advice has improved my daily routines and time with my family. There will be that Sunday when I’ll be sleep-deprived and will not care much of being mother of the year and spend most of it browsing on Instagram pics. Or that evening when I’ll be utterly shattered by a stressful work day and want to waste my free time by reading tweets in my feed. But overall I’m motivated to keep a clear focus on goals and how I make the most of my time with the help of, and not ostracised by, technology.

Day 7

I’m not a sport person, but I do like walks. Last summer I noticed that I was spending most of nights in front of the television. Crashing on the sofa and after a couple of hours moving to the bed. I do love TV series but I felt it was becoming a too passive way to spend my free time. I went for walks from time to time, even spending two hours outside. Even though I left feeling tired, the fresh air reinvigorated me and I came back home feeling happier and more peaceful. It allowed me also to discover what my physical limits were. I found out I could walk with no fatigue for several kilometers. Sometime it’s nice to click-jump Wikipedia pages or posts, but if you feel it’s becoming a dangerous habit, taking control of your body is a great piece of advice to start from.

I liked this experience. I made some of the advice a regular rule and overall it has improved my time at home and some of my workflow habits. I am now more than curious to read Homo Distractus to learn more and better ways to facilitate my relationship with technology. As a parent, I feel I’m in a hurry to fully understand and manage this reality, to allow my children to grow healthy ways to deal with tech and internet. I need to be more aware of its effects on my mind and become better at handling them. I must show them I’m in control with technology, if I ever hope them to be. How about you, are you up for the challenge of the digital detox?

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The feelings book – Todd Parr

Buy in ENG
Todd Parr is a classic to face delicate themes with small children. Kids love the simple and colourful style of drawings. The book doesn’t name exactly feelings, but describes different situations when one may wants to be on their own, or feels excited, and so on. The story concludes that it’s important to share your feelings with someone else. I feel this book is mostly useful to explain our children that it’s normal to have all sort of different feelings – positive or not – and that does not define who we are.

No matter what –  Debi Gliori

Buy in: ENG – ITA
We own the Italian edition of this book and the story was fully translated in rhymes, which makes it sound very musical when read out. The main characters of this book are an adult fox (Large) and her cub (Small). In the Italian version their gender and relationship are not specified, which makes it inclusive for all kinds of families. Large comforts Small, telling her she’ll always be loved no matter what. A delicate tale about unconditional love.

You can always count on daddy – Mireille D’Allancé

Buy in: ENG / ESP – ITA
Keep this title in mind as a gift for next Father’s Day or for a soon-to-be dad. We loved this book and its pictures. It’s a short story of a young bear and his dad, who reassures him that no matter what happens, he’ll be there for him and will protect him from any danger.

The great big book of feelings – Mary Hoffman

Buy in ENG – FIN – ITA
I would recommend this book for preschool age children or older. We only browsed through it as a sort of illustrated enciclopedia, to trigger the discussion about some feelings. Nevertheless, it’s a rich resource and I love its illustrations. I’m sure this book lasts through years and years, I would definitely recommend it as a durable gift.

What a tantrum – Mireille D’Allancé

Buy in ENG / ESP – ITA
I would dare say this is my children’s favourite book ever and I am sorry to see it’s not an easy find in English language. Both my kids wanted me to read it so many times, they both can recite it by heart. It’s a short story about a boy who gets so mad that his anger manifests and turns his room upside down. The boy goes through the process of calming down after seeing the effects of his anger. As a parent, I see a couple of flaws in the plot (it’s not fully clear the manifestation is his anger and the child is sent to his room to calm down on his own), but it’s a fact that my kids adore it and it helped them to define anger when they felt it.

Frog is sad – Max Velthuijs

Buy in ENG
I found this book through a list published on a website and I’m grateful I did, because I would have never picked it among others at the library. Illustrations are nothing special, but I think the plot compensates. Frog feels sad and doesn’t know why. His friends don’t know how to make him happy and it turns out, he just needed to feel sad for a while. I love that it teaches how it’s okay to experience negative feelings sometime. I like to read it to my kids and relate to when it happened to them.

In my heart, a book of feelings – Jo Witek

Buy in ENG – ITA
We’ve recently received this book as a gift and we’ve all fallen in love with it. Each page describes a feeling in a very visual and poetic style. We’ve read it and tried to recall together when was the last time we felt like that. Definitely suitable both for R. (4 years old) and E. (2 years old). Definitely in the top 3 in this list.

Owl Howl – Paul Friester

Buy in ENG
There’s a whole series of books of Owl Howl. The cute little owl finds himself in some emotional situations (getting lost in the woods, being scared, …). I think it makes it easy for children to identify with the plot and can help starting a dialogue on negative feelings. The illustrations are very rich and coloured.

I love you as big as the world – David Van Buren

Buy in ENG – FIN
This is one of the sweetest books we’ve read. The concept is really similar to “No matter what” and it’s simply a declaration of unconditional love. I loved the pictures. Great choice for a bedtime story.

Inside Out, box of mixed emotions – Brittany Candau

Buy in ENG – ITA – FIN
Normally I am insensitive to Disney books, as I find them to be more marketing than content. However, this won the popular vote in my house. It’s not any deep, but still great to smile together and name emotions. There’s a good touch of humour which makes it enjoyable for parents as well. It’s very short, which makes it ideal for young toddlers.

Whatever book you choose, I feel it’s so important we help our kids to learn to recognise and name their feelings. Did you know any of the books in the list? Do you have more to suggest? Drop me a line in the comments.

Disclaimer: this post contains Amazon affiliate links, which means I get a % on sales at no additional cost to you.

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